On the narrow ledge of the roof she stood. She inched closer to the edge.
He watched her silently, taking another drag from his cigarette. The wind up here whipped at his hair as he pulled his leather jacket tighter around him. Calling out to her would have been futile; even his thoughts were almost lost to the wind.
She lifted her face to the skies and closed her eyes. She could hear God so much more clearly up here. With arms thrown wide, she embraced Him and asked, “Why do I make myself unimportant? Why do I allow other people to overlook me, as if that’s what I deserve? Is that all I deserve?”
These questions tore at his heart. Had he not loved her enough? Had he not treated her as though she was number one? Was it his fault she felt unimportant? He had his own questions, but they would have to wait.
A light shot across the sky as she nodded, seemingly listening to His answers. “Why do I always blame myself? Because it is my fault,” she insisted, arguing with God. He chuckled to himself; that was his baby. She would argue until she was blue in the face if she thought she was right- even with God!
“I’m worth so much more? Really?” she opened her eyes. “But- but..” there was no arguing with God, she realized. But there was also no arguing with how she was treated, how she felt, how everyone made her feel.
She knew he was there, only a few feet away, watching as always. That was love. But sometimes, love just isn’t enough.
Not even God’s love.
She closed her eyes again, and stepped off the ledge.
Image courtesy of SpaceKittie; please do not duplicate/save.
originally written & posted … 2003