Hearth

403 East 12th Street at 1st Avenue
(646) 602-1300
Reservations recommended (by them), but be prepared to 1- give your credit card number and 2- confirm the day of or they may “release your table to their waiting list”- pretentious soup, anyone?
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The thing about Hearth is, well, with a name like Hearth, it was natural for me to assume a few things: that there would be a roaring fire going in the fireplace, and that the food would be hearty. 

Well, I was wrong on both counts.  Apparently, despite its name, there is no fireplace.  Ok, there is one, according to an article I skimmed that was posted on the wall in their downstairs bathroom- it’s in the kitchen.  That hardly counts, now, does it? 

As for hearty, well, the portions left us all wanting more food (though not necessarily their food, as one of my dining companions then walked the two blocks to get a ‘bao’ from Momofuku).  They weren’t tiny, but definitely not filling, though this may be because we didn’t order any appetizers.  Why didn’t we order any appetizers?  Because nothing on the menu appealed to us.  We have a standard few items we seem to order for appetizers: fried calamari or rock shrimp, and then whatever strikes our fancy.  Not one thing stood out!

After we ordered and munched on super hard/chewy Tuscan bread that had large holes in the middle of the slice- a guy came around and served us one slice of bread each- a waiter came around and offered us parsnip soup “amuse bouche” served in a shot glass.  This was interesting, as I don’t recall ever eating parsnips, and I thought proved to be promising since it wasn’t awful (I couldn’t say it was good since I’d never had this before).  What a letdown. 

For entrees, a record 2/3s of us opted for the same dish, which sounded good: monkfish osso bucco, served with calamari risotto and gremolato.  Of course, I was curious why they called it osso bucco, since traditionally this is a dish comprising a veal shank, but whatever.  Aside from the calamari risotto, this dish was a flop.  The fish was tender but super bland, with no distinct flavor of its own.  The risotto was harder than I like it, but still good, though not enough.  I thought Italians eat a lot!  What happened to the massive portions?

This is one of the pasta dishes- how does an Italian restaurant only have TWO pasta dishes on the menu?  Seriously?  I didn’t hear any complains but from looking at it, it doesn’t look appetizing nor filling.  It looks fairly blah actually, though I didn’t try any- this is the tortelli. 

She also got the soup, and personally, I hate [American/non-Asian] dumplings.  They’re just dollops of dough cooked in soup or on top of stews!  Ick in my opinion.  Soggy messes of dough… but I didn’t hear her say much about the dishes in general, she was at the other end of the table. 

Earlier in the day, I’d sent my sister the menu and she’d chosen a dish for me: the braised barramundi, telling me barramundi was a fish she’d had in Australia that she’d thought was only available over there (lord knows I’ve never seen it here).  The dish was interesting at best: cranberry beans that tasted just like beans, not a hint of cranberry, clams sprinkled with what looked like the white part of green onions chopped up and sprinkled over it, which I almost threw to the side cuz I hate green onions, but turned out to be mini scallops!  I didn’t like the skin of the fish; it was hard to break with a fork and not easy with a knife, either, though it did taste good.  The fish itself was soft, tender, and had a unique flavor of its own, though I don’t think it was worth of the name ‘braised’ since braising tends to infuse the entire ‘meat’ of a dish with a lot of flavor. 

Afterwards, since half of us were still really hungry, we almost opted to get more desserts, but at $9-10 a pop, we stuck with the usual, which is ordering two desserts for the table. 

Though they had panna cotta, which, along with chocolate souffle/mousse, tiramisu, and creme brulee, rotate through our standard dessert list, it was goat cheese panna cotta, and goat cheese’s distinct flavor wasn’t one we were keen on tasting at that moment, so we opted for the banana cake with mascarpone frosting and chocolate sorbet.  I personally enjoyed this dessert more than the other; the cake was dense, moist, and had that faint banana flavor; not overwhelming nor nonexistent.  It wasn’t overly sweet, and was, in fact, just right.  The accompanying sorbet was dark, thick, almost fudgy but frozen, and not sweet to the point I wanted to gag.  It was very rich, which one of the girls did not like, but I loved how it wasn’t overly sweet like many chocolate items tend to be. 

Our other choice, the apple cider donuts, were piping hot, glazed nicely, and came with a dollop of heavy whipped cream and apple sauce on the side.  These were good, and most of my companions appeared to enjoy these more than the banana cake.  I feel, however, that perhaps my opinion was tainted for two reasons: 1- I’d had apple cider donuts before (they hadn’t) which were really good, though not fresh/hot and 2- they hadn’t cost $9 for two dinky ones.  So these were good, but not fantastic or something I’d order again. 

The final touch was a little “petits fours” – a complimentary “dessert”, so to speak- ginger snaps cookies in a small dish.  Before I could grab my camera, the girls had each grabbed one, so I took a shot of my lone cookie in the dish.  I don’t normally like ginger in general, and ginger snaps I have to be in that mood, but this was a good cookie, with a soft, chewy center. 

Honestly, though, it wasn’t enough to make up for the rest of the meal.  I wouldn’t go back here.  At 12th and 1st Avenue, it’s a freaking hike (though, bonus, it’s a block away from Veniero’s, so I headed over there afterwards and bought cannolis and tiramisu to bring home)- even taking the L train, which I hate, and for what we paid vs. what we got and how much we enjoyed it…. it is not worth it.  Despite not ordering appetizers, I paid $35 for a small, only so-so entree, and two good desserts.  The desserts don’t make up for the main courses, and why would I go here just for dessert when Veniero’s is only a block over? 

Yvo says: Don’t go out of your way to come here.  Since it’s out of anyone’s way, really, that means don’t go here.  Any Italian place with only two pasta dishes should strike fear in your heart and warn you away.