Trader Joe’s, I applaud you for opening a new store in Chelsea. Not that it’s any closer to me, living on the Upper East Side, than the one off Union Square, but the new one feels more spacious, and I don’t mind (much) carrying so much home. I’d seen the Simpler Times beer before, but at the new store it just felt right. Also, it was 90 degrees out and a crisp pilsner seemed perfect to me.
A crisp pilsner? Yep. I know, I know, for $3.99 a six-pack — far cheaper than even mass-produced fizzy yellow lagers from the Big Beer Companies — and in cans to boot, I mean, that’s disposable beer right there, what could I expect? All I really want from a 67-cent can of beer is a little bit of flavor, nothing seriously wrong, and eventually, my nickel deposit back. I’d love to find out that Minhas, the Simpler Times brewer, managed to make a solid pilsner with a noticeable hop bite and clean malt flavors, but that’s all wishful thinking at this price point. How about, just be better than Busch?
Well, not so fast. Minhas is a large brewery, but they mainly churn out contract beer judging from their site, though they don’t specify which brands are “theirs”. And as a huge brewer, it’s almost certain they sort of bought up old nostalgic beers, like, say, Hamm’s, and make that beer for the old-timers and hipsters. Simpler Times smacks of that, also. The can says “Since 1845”, but I’m betting that isn’t continuous or any single brand.
I pour the Simpler TImes Pilsner into a Schlitz glass my dad used to drink his Miller Lite from. Lowering expectations straight out of the gate, I’m at least comforted that the beer looks right: clear, pale gold, fizzy, kicking up an enormous, fluffy white head that sticks, and sticks around. The head carries with it a kind of corny aroma, undoubtedly from DMS (a fermentation byproduct) rather than actual corn, with some wet hay and even a hop or two. In short, the beer acquits itself pretty well to this point.
Tastewise? Well, it’s fair to say that the Simpler Times Pilsner is completely inoffensive. There’s almost nothing there — a little pilsner malt crackery-haylike maltiness, a touch of sugary sweetness, perhaps the slightest hop flavor, without any noticeable bitterness — simply not interesting. There’s also no finish, no aftertaste really, to speak of. It’s really the definition of “meh.”
So in short, Minhas manages to make a boring pilsner; it will never be mistaken for a craft-brewed specimen, though to be fair to the brewery, a $3.99 price tag does not scream “I’m complex!” It does check in at 5.5% alcohol by volume — a touch higher than your usual pilsner — and it doesn’t pretend to be anything more than it is. If I drank this beer blind, I’d say it tastes like a really good… um, malt liquor. Except that it would taste really good ice-cold after mowing the lawn, perhaps, or in a cooler at the beach. Knowing that this beer is probably exclusively brewed for Trader Joe’s, people who shop at TJ’s will recognize you as a fellow aficionado of the chain, worth a few cool points. And you won’t be supporting the even larger big beer conglomerates. If that’s your thing, instead of opting for more expensive beer with a more challenging taste, I wholeheartedly suggest drinking Simpler Times instead of your regular beer of choice.
SkippyMom says
That damn glass brought back memories of my Dad saying “Run downstairs and get me a beer Skippy.” Never two or three at a time….just one. And I did oh-so-many runs on a Friday night. I hate Schlitz, but I miss the heck out of my Dad.
Nice review – don’t think that is available here [haven’t seen it] but for the price it sounds decent. Thanks!
And thanks for the memories.
Bill Bucy says
Maybe it’s the presence of Stanford or the fact they only sell it warm, but I pay $2.99 here in Palo Alto, CA.
Gopal says
I kind of like the apple/melon notes in the aftertaste. It’s the ind of bree that might be good after a long run .
jimmerz says
I bought a 6pack of Simpler Times Pilsner in cans, at the local Trader Joes here in Mesa, Arizona for the bargain basement price of $1.99. Not expecting much, I popped a can this evening, and sipped a bit for a taste. Surprisingly it was fairly smooth, with just a bit of a sweet taste, but not over-bearing.
I finished it just a moment ago, and it being a canned beer, I was pleasantly surprised. It’s not something that I would go out of my way to get on a regular basis, but the next time I go camping, and needing a beer that comes in cans, I believe that I would pick up a case or so to take with me. It would go better than some of the offerings that the major breweries have!
Andy says
1.99 in San Dimas, CA. And yes, it’s simple, yet satisfying.
Bill Gracey says
No, it won’t win any awards, but hard to knock because of the price. I drink this over many other “popular-priced” beers. because it is easy to drink and doesnt give me a hangover like many mass produced American beers. I can’t get into the IPA craze, so this lack of hop “character” attacking my taste buds, suits me just fine! It’s great to drink when watching Saturday or Sunday afternoon football, and, as I said, for $3,49 a six pack at my local Trader Joe’s in Grosse Pointe, MI, it doesnt strain my budget. Goes well with tailgating fare and pizza.